Holiday Gift Ideas!

(photo from: http://www.priotime.com/go-overboard-buying-christmas-gifts-kids/)

Have you gone Christmas shopping yet? If you have, good for you! You're one of those overachiever types, aren't you? (Insert winking face). If not, no worries! I've got a list of gifts you can look out for in your travels. These are gifts kids (ages 6+) will love but not think to ask for, which makes you look even more thoughtful. Don't worry about distinguishing the gifts between genders. Embrace the gender equality! Enjoy!

1. Roku and Streaming Stick (cross between Netflix and Google Chromecast) - $25
2. Polaroid Camera - $72
3. Classic Creative Lego Set - $14
4. Nerf Doomlands Impact Zone Desolator - $29
5. Oculus Rift and Touch Virtual Reality System - $399
   
6. Amazon Kindle Paperweight E-Reader - $120
7. Hatchimals Surprise - $70
8. Watch Ya Mouth Game - $17
9. Costway Infrared Remote Control Robot - $33
10. Lego Boost Creative Toolbox - $160
    
11. Squishies (slow-rising squish toys) - prices vary
12. Maddie Rae's Slime-Making Clear Glue (for all your slime recipes!) - $9 for 3pk
13. Build-A-Bear Workshop Stuffing Station (no more fighting with people at the mall!) - $15
14. Sky Viper Nano Drone - $35
15. Long Distance Touch Lamps (for children living in separate households) - $150
    
16. Fisher Price Think + Learn Smart Cycle Toy - $125
17. Color Changing Cinema Lightbox - $50
18. Minecraft Wall Torch - $40 for 2pk
19. Crayola Easy Animation Studio - $22
20. Parker: Your Augmented Reality Bear by Seedling - $60
    

Hopefully this short list was helpful and you found a few things your kid (or a kid in your life) will enjoy. I know I'm adding a few of those things to my list... :)

I hope it's a good holiday season for everyone, and I hope everything goes smoothly!

Working With Defiant Children and Their Parents

(photo from: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/parenting/toddlers/6-tips-for-handling-a-defiant-toddler)

*Disclaimer: This post is not a "quick tips to cure your misbehaved child," but rather occurrences in my work experience*

This is a story of good eggs, bad eggs, and inconsistent parenting.

It was Thursday, November 30th. I remember driving our company bus out of the parking lot and seeing my coworker walking up the driveway toward the sidewalk. I pulled the bus up next to her and opened the door.

"Hey, what are you doing? Do you need a ride?" I asked.

Immediately, she hopped up the steps and said, "Yeah, drive down the street a little. I'm looking for one of the teens."

"Oh?" I prompted curiously.

"Alex called George back at the teen center and said she was lost somewhere off the oval."

We drove not even a quarter mile down the road before we spotted Alex crying in the parking lot of a Rite-Aid. I let my coworker off the bus and kept driving to my destination as they walked back to work.

It was weird. It seemed like a much more loaded situation than what my coworker had relayed to me. However, by the next day, I had moved on and forgotten about it.

At the end of the day on Friday, December 1st, I got the full story...

Apparently, what had actually happened the day prior was much more complex. Four friends left school to come to our center, stopping at the gas station as usual to grab some snacks. They decided, however, that they were going to steal the snacks.

Before they went into the store, three of them discussed the plan as Alex just listened. As they began to walk into the store, Alex ran the other way and tried to make her way to the kids' center. She got lost along the way, and that's when she called for help. Meanwhile, the other kids had already stolen from the store and made their way to the center.

Alex told one of her friends what really happened, and that friend told someone else, and so on until finally it was passed over to one of our staff. That staff member immediately asked those teens to show their backpacks to her. She went through them and found loads of snacks, more than they've ever brought back with them.

They confessed to stealing, which was a relief because we had no tangible evidence on hand. We called each child's parents and requested that they come to pick up their kids.

They did... eventually. As we waited for those parents, one of the kids confronted the boy who told the counselor about them stealing. In a spot where they knew the cameras weren't angled, he had one of the other members hold the boy down and began kicking him repeatedly in the ribs and stomach. They left the boy there and walked away.

As we caught wind of this a few minutes later, we detained those two teens in an office on the other side of the building. We called the parents of these kids and requested that they be picked up immediately. They did.

We suggested to the parents that the children bring back the food to the gas station, which they also did. What they did next was unbelievable.

That night we had a "teen night," where teens are allowed to join us after hours at the center for pizza, sports, video games, etc. They usually run until around 9pm.

Those parents dropped their kids off in the parking lot to join the teen night. They drove off so we couldn't say anything. We had to let them stay.

It's amazing what happens when there's complete inconsistency in parenting. Kids think it's okay to steal and hurt other people. They're only upset when they get caught, and even then, the consequences don't equate to the crime. Parents should at least try to understand the kind of position this puts us in; we must encourage good behavior and discipline bad behavior, but if the parents don't do this, too, it will never fully reach those children. That is a great disservice to our kids.

Ommm... Kids' Meditation

(photo from: http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/everything-kids/what-we-can-learn-from-the-school-that-replaced-detention-with/)

In my last post, I talked about the law of attraction for kids. It's something I practice in my daily life, so of course I wanted to bring it to the after-school program I work at.

As part of the law of attraction, I wanted to try meditation with the kids. I knew it would be difficult, but I thought some would really enjoy it. There are definitely some kids who would benefit from practicing it.

When I meditate, it is usually the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do at night. I told the children who joined me this before we began. They sat on thin, purple yoga mats, staring up at me.

"What do you know about meditation?" I asked.

A little girl raised her hand. "You have to have your eyes closed," she said.

"That's right," I replied. "Something else?"

A different girl raised her hand. "You have to sit very still with your legs criss-cross-applesauce."

I laughed and nodded. "That's right. It's important to sit still while you're trying to meditate. Anything else you can think of?"

A boy raised his hand and said, "You have to say 'ommmmmm' for a really long time."

Again I laughed. "You don't always have to say 'om' when you meditate," I said. "Meditation is mostly about clearing your mind so you can focus on one thing. Sometimes you might notice your mind starting to wander to other thoughts, but as soon as you notice it, you move your attention back to that one thing. Does that make sense?"

The children nod.

(photo from: http://norfolkbotanicalgarden.org/events/family-yoga-single-class/)

"What do we think about?" another boy asked.

"You can focus on whatever you want as long as it's something that makes you feel happy and peaceful," I answered. "So let's try it out. Everyone sit in the center of your mat."

All the children adjusted themselves and sit criss-cross-applesauce. I asked them to rest their hands lightly on their knees or their ankles. Then I told them to take a deep breath and hold it.

"Hold it, hold it... And when I say 'exhale,' let go of your breath slowly, and close your eyes as you do it. Okay. Exhale."

The children let their breath out slowly, some faster than others. Their eyes closed. Some snuck a few peeks around the room, but I raised my eyebrows at them. They closed them again.

"Okay, now I want you to focus on only my voice. Pay close attention to what I'm saying," I instructed them. "Take another deep breath. Inhale slowly. Notice how the air fills up your lungs. Hold it for a few seconds, and then let go of it. Do it slowly. Repeat these deep breaths three more times on your own. Make sure you're sitting straight up. Feel your body start to relax every time you exhale."

I gave them about thirty seconds for this.

As they all took their last deep breaths, I grabbed their attention once again.

"All right. This is going to be the hard part. I want you all to focus your attention on your bodies. Try not to let your mind wander."

They all shifted around a little, sitting up straight again.

"Let's start from the top of your head. Notice how your hair feels on your head. Is it heavy? Light? How long is it? Now focus on your ears. They should hear my voice and nothing else. And now, move to your shoulders..."

Slowly like this, I brought their attention all the way down to their toes. This is an excellent way to bring them into the present moment and realize that, yes, they are indeed here and alive. I told them to do it themselves, but starting with their toes and working their way back up to their heads. At this point, they were all calm and not peeking around or causing distractions.

After about three minutes, I started speaking to them again.

"Good. Now you may think about whatever you want. You can think about going on vacation, getting a new pet, having your dream job, whatever it is that makes you the happiest. Focus on it. Focus on the happiness it brings you."

I gave them about three more minutes to do this before saying, "You may open your eyes slowly."

The children opened their eyes, looking a little sleepy. I asked them to arrange their mats into a half-circle so we can talk about their meditation.

"Did you like it?" I asked.

Most nodded their heads. Some raised their hands, and I called on a girl.

"It was hard to not think about things," she said. A few kids nodded their heads again. "My brain wanted to think about a lot of things, but I stopped it. I got the hang of it."

"That's really good," I answered. "It is very hard to keep your mind from thinking about other things. Even grownups find it hard sometimes. You guys did a great job. I'm really impressed."

Before we finished up, I asked them to try this a few times over the course of the week. Next week, we'll reconvene and see if they're finding it a little easier to focus. That's the goal!

The Law of Attraction for Kids

(Photo from: https://eocinstitute.org/meditation/meditation-and-dreams-center-yourself-and-lucid-dream-to-your-hearts-content/)

You know what's sad to think about? Most people wander through their lives without ever knowing what on earth the law of attraction is. On some level, we are all using it every day whether we do it consciously or not. Wouldn't it be amazing to be conscious of the law of attraction, and thus your potential, from a young age?

In this post, I'm going to give you five excellent ways to teach the children in your life how to use the law of attraction. Teaching them when their young can have a profound impact on their lives.

As children, we spend most of our time dreaming about what we want our futures to look like. But as we get older, much of that slips away because we are told we have to be realistic.

It is unrealistic to be an astronaut. It is unrealistic to be an actor/actress. It is unrealistic to win an olympic medal.

But people have done it before—what makes it unrealistic?

(Photo from: http://learningworksforkids.com/2013/12/5-ways-to-improve-your-childs-thinking-skills-and-math-success/)

Children need to be taught that they can accomplish anything they set their mind to and that their only limitations are the ones they place on themselves.

If you're new to the law of attraction, these five tips will help you in your own life as well. They are applicable to anyone in any situation. Happy manifesting!

1. Be Grateful.

(Photo from: https://markmanson.net/shut-up-and-be-grateful)

I think anyone can agree with this one. It is so incredibly important to teach children to be grateful for the people and things they have. Now you don't want to tell them outright: "Be grateful!" They're not going to know how to project it if they're not shown gratitude.

• Set an example by sharing regularly the things you're grateful for (example: "I'm grateful to have fresh fruit to eat every day.")
• Teach your child to use manners for everything, no matter how big or small; I can't stress this enough! A simple please and thank you goes a long way
• Make sure your child understands that time goes by quickly and that we should take opportunities as they come

2. Push Yourself to Become Better.

(Photo from: http://www.betterparenting.com/help-your-child-overcome-fears-and-phobias/)

This is a big one for any child. Teaching children to face their fears is essential to their development. We can only coddle them so much. Eventually, they grow up. Never getting over a childhood fear can be extremely limiting.

• Encourage your child to join new teams or clubs (try out for basketball or join Boy/Girl Scouts)
• Once again, set that example. Share a story about a fear you had to overcome when you were younger
• Tell your child that it pays off to be brave; what was once a fear doesn't seem so scary anymore! He/she will feel better having overcome fears

3. Think positive thoughts.

(photo from: http://essenciapessoal.com.br/so-pensar-positivo-nao-funciona/)

Many people find themselves dwelling on the negatives in life. Does that lead us to anything positive? Rarely does maintaining a pessimistic view on life yield positive results. One of the best things you can do for your child AND yourself is to start thinking positively. You will start to feel happier and motivated! Here's how to get your child started:

• Tell your child that it is acceptable to have negative thoughts. When a negative thought occurs, do not simply dismiss it; consider why it is there and determine what you can do to solve the problem and turn it into a positive!
• Practice focusing on a positive thought for 10 seconds! Adults using this practice will refer to Abraham Hicks's 17-second rule, but children will find it easier to focus for 10 seconds at a time. The idea is that a positive thought, if held long enough, will lead to another positive thought and turn into a stream of positive thoughts
• If your child is struggling with something specific (it can be as simple as being embarrassed about a new haircut), tell him/her to write out a list of positives about that thing

4. Be happy with who you are.

(photo from: https://www.theodysseyonline.com/fly-love-yourself)

As humans, we are often our own biggest critics. We can be so hard on ourselves, and a lot of times it can be because our mind unconsciously refers back to a time when we were judged harshly by others for something beyond our control. Teach your child that it is okay to be different.

• Show your child that you, too, have different things about yourself, and that you're perfectly okay with them
• Remind your child that the opinions of others are irrelevant, and the people closest to you love you no matter what (similar to: "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind"). What really counts is how you use those distinct qualities to your advantage
• Praise your child frequently for their uniqueness. For example, find a way to channel their differences to make art and hang it up on the fridge

5. Visualize your dreams.

(photo from: https://www.peoplematters.in/blog/culture/high-time-for-hr-to-think-positive-13769?utm_source=peoplematters&utm_medium=interstitial&utm_campaign=learnings-of-the-day)

Along with keeping out the negativity, it is extremely important to keep your dreams at the front of your mind. Teach your kids to complete every task with purpose. Have a goal in mind and do what is necessary to achieve it! Tell your child to put a goal out into the universe. Then let them know that if they go about their day with their goal in mind, they will continue working toward success.

• Create a vision board with your child. Gather pictures and inspirational quotes to attach to the board. Once it is finished, mount it where your child will see it every day and be reminded of all the goals they want to accomplish
• Morning and bedtime meditation are excellent ways to start and end your day with your goals. If you wake up with a goal in mind, you will feel more motivated to start your day. Thinking about your goal before you sleep at night will increase the chances of having quality sleep
• Tell your child to keep a journal for all his/her goals and to track the progress of each one as time goes on. Once your child looks back at the journal after a few months or even years, he/she will be surprised at how much has been accomplished

Teaching our children how to set and achieve goals is one of the most important things we can do to aid in their development. As parents, guardians, and caregivers alike, it is an incredibly satisfying thing to see a child succeed at something they have worked hard toward. Showing kids how to use the law of attraction also reminds us to use it on a daily basis, too, so that you can improve the quality of your own life.

Keep the Kids Busy During the Holidays!

Ahh... Christmas: the time for jingling bells, twinkling lights, and Mariah Carey's Oh Santa. It's right around the corner.

Do you have your activities planned out for the kids yet?

(Photo from: http://www.mommyish.com/top-10-ways-to-keep-kids-calm-on-christmas-eve/)

If not, you're in for a brutal holiday season. Between working, cooking, cleaning, decorating the house, and finding some time for yourself, you've got to find something to keep the kids busy!

Luckily, I have a super easy recipe that even the kids can learn on their own. Soon you'll have some little helpers scurrying around the kitchen. Try this out...

Christmas Popcorn...

(Photo from: https://lilluna.com/christmas-popcorn/)

Let's get to it. So this is a super simple concept, and you can go about it two different ways. If you want to make everything from scratch, then you should purchase a box of popcorn kernels and get the double boiler going. If you want to keep it quick and easy, just grab some microwavable popcorn and a bowl for the white chocolate. You're going to need:

- 2 tbsp. popcorn kernels

- 2 bars of white baking chocolate

- red and green food dye

- red and green chocolate candies (M&Ms or similar)

- 1 tbsp. coconut oil

1. Pour coconut oil into a flat pan, moving it around to cover the bottom of the pan. Cover the pan with a lid.

2. Pour popcorn kernels into the pan, evenly spread around the bottom. Turn the burner on to HIGH and let sit.
3. While the popcorn is heating, get a double boiler* ready for the white chocolate. Put the burner on LOW.
4. Break up the two bars of white chocolate into the bowl. Let melt, keeping your eyes on both the chocolate and the popcorn.
5. As the chocolate melts, stir it around using a rubber spatula until it becomes fully melted.
6. The popcorn will begin to pop. As it does, move the pan back and forth gently (like Jiffy Pop!) so the kernels don't burn.
7. When the popcorn is done, let it cool for a minute before spreading it out onto a cookie sheet.
8. When the chocolate is melted, divide it evenly into three bowls. In one bowl, use a drop or two of the red food dye. Do the same in another bowl with the green dye. Leave one bowl white.
9. Drizzle the white chocolate all around the popcorn, making sure to evenly distribute each of the colors.
10. Add M&Ms and serve!

This is a delicious treat I make with my siblings every Christmas, and my whole family loves it. It wouldn't be the holidays without us running around the kitchen making treats together. Try this out with your family, and I guarantee it'll be fun for the kids and helpful for you!



*If you don't know what a double boiler is, you can easily make one using a small pot filled with an inch of water and a bowl to place on top of the pot. The heat from the boiling water will transfer to the bottom of the bowl and indirectly heat whatever is in the bowl so it doesn't burn.

Consoling a Child

(photo from https://drjohnrusin.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/crying-baseball-boy_sbops2.jpg)

If you babysit regularly, work in childcare, or plan to have kids someday, you should know the importance of properly consoling a child. The main goal is to get to a point where you can cheer up any crying kid and make sure they leave with a full understanding of the situation and feeling happier, safer, and a little tougher.

This is what is arguably most important for you to understand: any child you see crying could have a paper cut, been excluded by a group of friends, or witnessed/been a victim to domestic violence. If you work in childcare, you see many crying faces every day. A child can simply be tired, or worse: he/she could have gone without food that day.

The point is that most often, you do not know exactly what a child is going through. Children will go to the people they look up to for comfort and advice, or even someone they feel safe around. So, if you’re a taller, somewhat adult-like human who frequently takes care of children, don’t be surprised when a smaller, red-faced human with tears flooding from the eyes comes, hyperventilating, to you for help.

You have to be ready to hear anything. Yes—absolutely anything.

Just this week, I had a wild variety of problems arise at work. For example, this morning, a 6-year-old girl sobbed for twenty minutes straight after she stubbed her pinky toe. I asked her to take off her shoe and sock so I could see it. While she did that, I prepared a bag of ice. When I returned, she was ready to show me the toe.

The little thing wasn’t even red! Did it matter? Obviously, it didn’t; she continued to cry loudly, staring at her foot in complete agony.

(Photo from https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2459/3889528397_fdb6e13dac_z.jpg?zz=1)

Although I treated this situation as seriously and compassionately as I could, it was by far the least of my worries this week.

Right in front of me, two girls bonded over their fathers’ current jail sentences. One of them told me that her father comes home soon. I asked her how she felt about it, and her face went blank.

“Well . . . I don’t really know,” she said. “I miss him, but I’m scared of him, too. I hope he’ll be nicer when he comes home. My step-mother said he will be much better.”

To put things in perspective, I had grown up with a manipulative, abusive father. However, my dad never went to jail, so my experience was pretty different. I was at a loss for words. But sometimes, that’s okay.

Sometimes children don’t need to be talked at. Rather they just need a pair of sympathetic ears.

So how do you console a child? Unfortunately, there’s no one-size-fits-all method. Everyone is different, and it’s hard to know how someone will react to advice or affection. The most import,ant thing you can do for a child is listen. Listen intently, ask questions, and get a full understanding. If you can’t relate, then at least you’re listening. If you can relate, pull from your own experience.

Make sure the child knows that you can offer a safe, nonjudgmental environment. Talk to other people (without revealing the child’s identity) and see what they have to say.

There needs to be a healthy balance. We want to support children as much as possible and make sure all of their needs are being met, but we also want to help prepare them to face the real world on their own.

One of the worst things you can do to a child is make them feel as if they don’t matter.

(Photo from https://ph.theasianparent.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/crying-2.jpg)

Life With Katie: A Sister With Down Syndrome

For Down Syndrome Awareness Month, I decided to do a quick interview with one of our members, Jack. His sister has Down Syndrome, and she attends the program along with him and their two older brothers.

(Image from: https://nickspecialneeds.com/tag/down-syndrome-facts/)

It's 7:15am on a Monday morning. Although morning care starts at 6:45am, everyone is still waking up. Two staff, myself included, and six children sit sleepily at tables around the room.

Suddenly, someone bursts through the front doors, making us all jump. It is Katie, a nine-year-old girl with Down Syndrome, and she is running full speed toward the air hockey table. We've come to learn that she must be the first one there or else we must endure the hell that ensues.

About thirty seconds later, Katie's brother, Jack, walks in carrying her backpack along with his own. He puts the backpacks into separate cubbies and joins Katie at the air hockey table for a game.

Every morning, I watch this same routine and can't help but wonder what it must be like for Jack to follow Katie around all day, save the six hours he's in his classroom.

"Jack," I call when they've finished their game. He let Katie win as always. "Come here for a minute."

Jack comes over to me with a silly grin on his face. He always gets that look when I talk to him. It's adorable.

"Yes, Raven?" He sits down next to me.

"You and Katie are the same age?" I ask. I look over at Katie, who's picking up pool balls and rolling them across the floor with great force.

"Yep. I heard that there's a rumor going around my school. A lot of my classmates are saying that we got Katie from Russia, and guess what? It's true. My parents adopted her from Russia when we were four, so I grew up with her."

"That's really fascinating. She has so much energy first thing in the morning! Does she run out of it at home?"

"No, she's very active all day," he says as Katie runs up behind him. She pulls his arm and grunts loudly. Jack tells her to wait a minute until he's done talking with me.

"So you don't really get a break?" I ask him.

He shrugs. Katie starts to pound on Jack's chest with a loose fist, but he doesn't budge.

"Katie," I say gently, holding her arm back. "Don't punch your brother, okay? That hurts him."

She turns her gaze on me, frowns, and starts to smack her own head. Jack and I both grab her arms lightly and tell her to stop hurting herself. She runs away from us and (thankfully) gets distracted by a red ball. She can bounce a ball for hours if you let her.

(Image from: http://dsaco.net/wp-content/uploads/dsfacts1.png)

With some more time on our hands, I decide to dig a little deeper with Jack.

I can't help thinking back to just a week prior when Katie peed her pants, and Jack offered to help clean her up. We told him that we appreciate his help, but that he could go play while we take care of her.

"I can tell you like to help Katie during the day. Do you also help her at home?" I ask.

"Yes, I do. My brothers don't really pay attention to her, and my parents are always tired when they get home. They tell me I do a good job taking care of Katie," he says with a proud smile.

I return his smile, but it doesn't exactly reflect how I feel. I can tell he's tired, too.

"Do you have any advice for working with children who have Down Syndrome?"

"Not really," he says, his brows furrowing. "Oh, well I guess just be patient. Yeah, lots of patience. Otherwise, you might go crazy! Also, you gotta remember that they're people, too. They have all kinds of emotions and special things about them that you gotta figure out. I do that with Katie all the time, and I think that's why I'm her favorite."

"That's really nice of you, Jack," I say, smiling again. The light bags under his eyes are what prompt my next question: "Do you get enough time to do your homework at night?"

"Um, well . . . not always. Oh crap!" He looks panicked. "I have a page I forgot to do last night. Thanks for reminding me!"

As he runs to grab his backpack, I start to process this information.

At times, Jack sounds like he's 30 years old. He doesn't get much time to play unless he's playing a game with Katie, and he's often behind on his homework. If he feels this much responsibility for her at this age, I can only imagine how that sense of responsibility will progress as they get older. I've made an effort to spend one-on-one time with Katie so Jack can get his homework done and play with his friends before he goes home. It just goes to show that it really does take a village to help raise a child, especially kids like Katie who need the extra attention.



Here are some additional interesting facts about Down Syndrome:

(Image from: https://specialneedsresourceblog.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/down-syndrome_infograph.jpg)