(photo from: http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/parenting/toddlers/6-tips-for-handling-a-defiant-toddler)
*Disclaimer: This post is not a "quick tips to cure your misbehaved child," but rather occurrences in my work experience*
This is a story of good eggs, bad eggs, and inconsistent parenting.
It was Thursday, November 30th. I remember driving our company bus out of the parking lot and seeing my coworker walking up the driveway toward the sidewalk. I pulled the bus up next to her and opened the door.
"Hey, what are you doing? Do you need a ride?" I asked.
Immediately, she hopped up the steps and said, "Yeah, drive down the street a little. I'm looking for one of the teens."
"Oh?" I prompted curiously.
"Alex called George back at the teen center and said she was lost somewhere off the oval."
We drove not even a quarter mile down the road before we spotted Alex crying in the parking lot of a Rite-Aid. I let my coworker off the bus and kept driving to my destination as they walked back to work.
It was weird. It seemed like a much more loaded situation than what my coworker had relayed to me. However, by the next day, I had moved on and forgotten about it.
At the end of the day on Friday, December 1st, I got the full story...
Apparently, what had actually happened the day prior was much more complex. Four friends left school to come to our center, stopping at the gas station as usual to grab some snacks. They decided, however, that they were going to steal the snacks.
Before they went into the store, three of them discussed the plan as Alex just listened. As they began to walk into the store, Alex ran the other way and tried to make her way to the kids' center. She got lost along the way, and that's when she called for help. Meanwhile, the other kids had already stolen from the store and made their way to the center.
Alex told one of her friends what really happened, and that friend told someone else, and so on until finally it was passed over to one of our staff. That staff member immediately asked those teens to show their backpacks to her. She went through them and found loads of snacks, more than they've ever brought back with them.
They confessed to stealing, which was a relief because we had no tangible evidence on hand. We called each child's parents and requested that they come to pick up their kids.
They did... eventually. As we waited for those parents, one of the kids confronted the boy who told the counselor about them stealing. In a spot where they knew the cameras weren't angled, he had one of the other members hold the boy down and began kicking him repeatedly in the ribs and stomach. They left the boy there and walked away.
As we caught wind of this a few minutes later, we detained those two teens in an office on the other side of the building. We called the parents of these kids and requested that they be picked up immediately. They did.
We suggested to the parents that the children bring back the food to the gas station, which they also did. What they did next was unbelievable.
That night we had a "teen night," where teens are allowed to join us after hours at the center for pizza, sports, video games, etc. They usually run until around 9pm.
Those parents dropped their kids off in the parking lot to join the teen night. They drove off so we couldn't say anything. We had to let them stay.
It's amazing what happens when there's complete inconsistency in parenting. Kids think it's okay to steal and hurt other people. They're only upset when they get caught, and even then, the consequences don't equate to the crime. Parents should at least try to understand the kind of position this puts us in; we must encourage good behavior and discipline bad behavior, but if the parents don't do this, too, it will never fully reach those children. That is a great disservice to our kids.
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